Silver and Cold
by RBabe500
Summary: Blaming himself for Ryou's death, Bakura searches desperately for a way to reunite himself with his light. But what he gets caught up in is something that might ruin any chance for him and Ryou to ever be together again. Sequel to "Open Your Eyes" Chap


*Silver and Cold*  
  
^_____^ *does little dance of happiness* I broke my writer's block! Yay me!  
  
Soooo......This is the sequel to Open Your Eyes. Because I was going to write a prequel, but no matter how many times I tried, everything I wrote was complete crap. So today, while listening to the AFI cd (which btw, I think EVERYONE should buy this cd.......It's AMAZING!) I was listening to the song "Silver and Cold" and got the idea for a sequel instead. ^_^  
  
For those who read Open Your Eyes, I hope you like this sequel as much. Because you all gave me such nice reviews for Open Your Eyes. *huggles all the reviewers and gives them plushies of their favorite Yu-Gi-Oh characters* If you didn't read Open Your Eyes, you might want to. Because this fic will make more sense then. *nod nod*  
  
/blah blah blah/ = Ryou speaking to Bakura through mental link  
  
'blah blah blah' = thoughts  
  
Oh, and this fic is all Ryou's thoughts. And yes, he did die at the end of Open Your Eyes, in case anyone was confused or not sure.  
  
Disclaimer: I dun own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh, except Volume One of the graphic novels. But I dun think that counts. ;_; I wanna own Seto! *whines*  
  
Chapter One "Free Falling"  
  
The feeling of dying is so simple. There is the initial pain. The pain of a knife ripping the skin along your wrists apart. The pain of a vein being torn apart.  
  
And then there is nothing. The world around you goes black, and all the pain seems to just fall away. It's like a leaf being picked up from the ground by a strong gust of wind. It just rises higher and higher into the air until it's gone. Just like the pain.  
  
And then you fall. You fall into a pit of darkness. And you keep falling. There is nothing to catch you and stop you. But the falling isn't scary. Because you just know that there is no ground for you to ever hit. You'll just keep falling. Forever.  
  
It's a nice feeling. Just falling, free falling. You can just watch everything that hurt you fade away. It doesn't matter. Because you're free.......  
  
I guess it ends there. You just fall, forever. There's no heaven, or hell, or anything. Just the darkness.  
  
It's funny to think about that. For millions of years, people have believed in an afterlife. The Egyptians used to mummify their dead. They would stock their tombs with provisions for the afterlife. The living would do everything to ensure the happiness of the deceased in the afterlife. And it was all for nothing. There is no afterlife.  
  
There is nothing.  
  
It makes you wonder why people fear death. There really is nothing to fear. It's actually easier than living. Living is hard. Life is cruel. Life is cold. But death, death is so simple.  
  
Creating life takes work. But taking life.........It's so easy. Especially when you take your own.  
  
I would know.  
  
Do I regret it? I don't know. It seems like an eternity ago. There is no time here in the darkness. It could have been only minutes ago. I will never know.  
  
But I did it in a fit of anger, and hurt, and pain. I know that. But I don't remember the feeling. Because now, I'm free. I'm free from that hurtful world. I'm free from all the hurt, and pain, and cruelty, and stupidity, and........  
  
And free from love. Love, and happiness, and joy. They don't exist here either. Nothing does.  
  
Is it worth it? I will never feel pain again, mentally or physically. But I will also never feel happiness again. Is it a worthwhile exchange?  
  
I'm not sure. I suppose over time, it won't matter. Perhaps I will forget everything. Everything about what living is like. The pleasure and the pain. Maybe all the feelings will just fade away and it won't matter........  
  
I hope they do. Because I think that I have been thinking too much. Because I am beginning to wish that I was still living. Maybe......Maybe I should have held onto life. The pain AND the pleasure. The good AND the bad. The love AND the hate.  
  
Maybe that's what living really is. You can't have the good without the bad. Because if you only had the good, you wouldn't know it was good. Because without anything bad in your life, you would just accept the good. You would never be thankful when things went your way. You would just accept is as what was normal.  
  
And you could not have the bad without the good. Because if there was no good, how would you know what bad even was?  
  
Maybe that's the price I pay.......I've forsaken life, and only now do I understand what a gift living is. I want to live again. I want to feel pain. I want to feel hurt. I want to feel happiness. I want to feel joy. I want to feel Bakura.  
  
I really am alone now. I've forgotten what it's like to be alone. For as long as I could remember, I could feel his presence in my mind. Even once he split from my mind and we were no longer one, a part of him was always there.  
  
I guess death was the only thing that could truly sever that link. For the first time in years, I am truly alone with just myself.  
  
It's scary. Knowing that there is no one there. I can't even cry out. Because I don't suppose I am even a body anymore. I am just HERE. One more lost soul.  
  
/Bakura!/ I cry out through a mental link that no longer exists. /BAKURA!/  
  
It is pointless. I know that. But I persist, crying his name out over and over.  
  
Would he even answer me if he could? Even if he somehow heard me, would he answer?  
  
'No, he wouldn't. He left you, remember?' my mind answers.  
  
'He WOULD answer! He loves me! I know he does!' my heart cries back.  
  
I am caught in an internal struggle. I do not know what to think. Perhaps he would answer me. Perhaps he knows by now that I am dead. Perhaps he is mourning my death right now.  
  
'Or perhaps he doesn't care,' my mind says harshly.  
  
'He has to care! After everything we went through, he has to care!' my heart screams in agony.  
  
'How do you know? He told you he never loved you, remember?' my mind taunts.  
  
'He was lying! He had to be!' my heart screams back.  
  
'Why?' my mind asks.  
  
'All those times that he would hold me and whisper in my ear that he loved me, the love in his voice was not something he could have faked. The look in his eyes when he would kiss me was not something he could have faked. The way he would scream that he loved me as we made love was NOT something he could have faked!' my heart screams finally.  
  
My mind does not respond.  
  
It is quiet now. Quiet in my mind, and quiet in the darkness. So dark, so quiet, so cold.  
  
I feel so alone.........  
  
/BAKURA!/ I scream one final time, in a final vain attempt to free myself from this world of nothing-ness that I've dragged myself into.  
  
Only the deafening silence answers me. 


End file.
